It has been reported that a game of ‘Musical Statues’ at a children’s birthday party has been won by an adult on Ketamine.
Eight year old Jamie Burke from Liverpool, England, is said to have been celebrating his birthday with his friends and family in his parent’s house when his older brother, twenty two year old Stevie, took centre stage, with the incident being described as “boss” by everybody at the party.
“It was the best birthday ever,” said Jamie. “I got a new mountain bike and had all my friends round to have some birthday cake and play a few games. We even got to play musical statues with my older brother Stevie, he’s dead good at games like. I didn’t even think he would turn up, but he did. I Love Stevie, he’s boss. He was a bit wobbly at first but when the music stopped and he just didn’t move. Me and my mates couldn’t believe how still he was being.”
“My mates all think he’s dead cool now, I’ve told them he’s a professional musical statues player, and that he just stands there all the time, just like Liverpool’s goalkeeper Simon Mingolet.”
Other adults at the party described Stevie’s performance as “as still as a Yorkshireman when it’s his round down the pub”.
Wunderground managed to catch up with Stevie and ask him what really happened. “Well I had been out all night getting on the ket with my mates when I remember my little brothers party started at midday. Mum would kill me if I missed it so I made sure I got home but I was still off my nut,” explained Stevie.
“It was a bit boring like, I had a couple of bevvies but that didn’t cut it so I nipped to the toilet for a quick bump of ket, think I done too much because when I came back downstairs, the kids were dancing around to Lady Gaga and I just froze. My brain was functioning, but my body couldn’t move and my legs just completely stopped. I went into a massive K-hole.”
“Before I know it, an hour had passed and I didn’t have a clue what was going on” said Stevie. “All the kids were calling me a legend. All of the parents said I was a ‘great sport’ for getting involved and me mam thanked me for turning up. I also won a bag of pick n’ mix as a prize. Fuckin’ boss that mate.”
Unconfirmed reports that after eating all of his sweets, Stevie later snorted a “massive line” of sherbet fizz from the empty pick n’ mix bag after mistaking the sugary substance for ketamine.
