A young girl in the pub has been declared “one of the lads” after ordering a pint, like a bloke, instead of wine, like a chick.
Sauntering up to the bar with a blokeish swagger, 23-year-old Ciara Smith, a beautician from Dundee, was praised when she was heard to order “a pint of your cheapest beer – but not that fucking Fosters muck”.
Witnesses claim that Ciara’s three male friends all clapped her on the back when she returned from the bar and unanimously agreed that she was “just like one of the lads cause she drinks beer, which is a bloke’s drink”.
“She’s totally one of the lads,” claimed Philip, a friend of Ciara’s who praised the fact that “she likes sport and everything”.
“A lot of the girls were ordering G&Ts or cocktails but Ciara rocked back to the table with a beer in one hand and scratching her fanny with the other,” he added. “She then belched, took another big swig of the pint and started calling Wayne Rooney a fat cunt at the football on the telly.”
“Just like a bloke would do,” he added.
Philip claims that Ciara can “take a bit of banter too” and is in no way being forced to taper her femininity for acceptance by a group of lads who don’t find her attractive.
Witnesses claim that Ciara downed four pints, put a bet on first scorer then glassed a “cunt” while farting and eating a battered sausage, “just like a proper lad”.
“Ordering the pint was the main thing though,” continued Philip. “If she’d ordered white wine she’d just be another girl and not one of the lads, maybe fuckable but not part of the top lads bants.”
In other news, another member of the group Sam, was labelled “a bit of a queer” for ordering red wine despite the majority of the lads secretly wanting to drink wine and fondle cock.
