Girl Kicked Out Of Berghain For Mentioning Calvin Harris


It has been confirmed that a British raver has been kicked out of Berlin nightclub, Berghain, for mentioning EDM DJ Calvin Harris.

Twenty four year old Kelsey Jones from Newcastle, is said to have been in the club for just over an hour when the incident occurred, leaving her “shocked” and “demoralised” after she abided by all of their rules but still found herself ejected.

“Everyone always talks about this place like it is some sort of sacred land, so we decided to give it a go” said Kelsey. “My friend and I waited in the pissing rain for three hours. We saw hundreds of people get turned away with the door-staff giving reasons such as they didn’t look German enough, didn’t look techno enough, couldn’t name Stephan Bodzin’s  first cat, didn’t know &Me’s star-sign, couldn’t name at least fifteen record labels to have originated in Berlin before nineteen ninety two, and so on. We thought we had no chance of making it past the doormen, but we said nothing, did nothing, made no eye-contact and somehow got in.”

Wunderground asked Kelsey if she knew any of the in-house rules Berghain had put in place over the years “Yes I was fully aware of their strict criteria when I got through the door as it was listed on every single wall in seventeen different languages” Kelsey told us.

“I knew not get my phone out in a public area; not to take any photos or videos and that I had to dance in a certain style. I also learnt that smiling was strictly forbidden and you are only allowed to raise your arms a maximum of three times per DJ set. What nobody told me about was their newly installed conversation monitoring system. The new CMS can track key words used by us ravers to suss out if we are worthy of being in the club – and this is what got me slung out.

“All I said to my friend Claire was how different it was to the Calvin Harris pool party we had done in Vegas last year when a spotlight shone on me and I was surrounded by five bouncers. They carried me towards the back door and despite pleading with them they told me I had to go as I said a code-red word. They chucked me into the alley way behind the club and that was my night over.”

Wunderground contacted Beghain for a statement “Yes we have introduced a new CMS which helps us work out who deserves to stay in our club. If a code-red phrase or word is said, the attendee is instantly removed. Words and phrases on the code-red list include Calvin Harris, EDM, Eat Sleep Rave Repeat, PLUR, YOLO, Drop, England, America, Deep House, Shuffle, Sick, Lit, Fire and Bump.”


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Girl Kicked Out Of Berghain For Mentioning Calvin Harris

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