There was shock across the world of festival fashion today as a young woman managed to have a good time at a music festival despite not having a bindi stuck to her forehead.
Reports claim that the woman, named locally as Sam Lindsay, had intended to wear an outfit consisting of a bindi, facepaint, henna tattooing and Native American headdress but mistakenly left the bag containing those items at home.
“At first I was totes devo,” exclaimed Sam via Snapchat. “I mean, who goes to a festival without a smorgasbord of needlessly extravagant cultural decorations to assert their uniform individuality?”
“I was going to go home but decided I’d maybe try and make a bindi out of some dirt and construct a headdress using an old plastic bag and some twigs,” she added. “I just didn’t want to risk looking like everyone else at the festival, I want to stand out and look special.”
Sam claims that despite her efforts to make a bindi she began to notice that every single girl present was wearing a bindi and that not wearing one actually made her more non-conformist and unique.
“I had people coming up to me and saying how brave I was to make such a daring choice of not having a Hindu religious artifact stapled to the front of my head,” she continued. “I loved the attention that I was getting and how people were calling me a trendsetter. I even did an interview for a style magazine which predicted that not wearing a bindi is set to be the new wearing a bindi on the festival scene in 2016.”
Sam’s boyfriend claims he supports her decision not to wear a bindi although admits “it’ll take some getting used to” and that he “barely recognised her” without the face decoration.
“I actually thought she was a bloke when I first saw her without it,” he laughed. “With the wellies and raincoat the only surefire way to distinguish gender at a festival is the amount of needless cultural appropriation one is engaged in.”
“So I when I first saw her I thought ‘that’s not a girl, or a male hipster’, it must be just a normal bloke,” he explained. “It was only when she leant in and kissed me that I realised it was Sam and not some strange beardless man.”
Sam claims that she intends not to wear a bindi to next year’s festival but, knowing that everyone will follow suit, is keen to try and stand out in other ways.
“I’m thinking I might black up,” she concluded. “What better way to stand out at a British festival than being a black person. People have advised me against it saying it’s racially offensive and that I’ll probably just be getting searched by security or propositioned for drugs so much that I won’t be able to enjoy the festival but I’m just excited about all the attention I’ll get.”
