Girl With Drink Problem Claims Drinks You Have While Getting Ready Don’t Count

A girl with a suspected drink problem has tried to put her friends’ minds at rest by insisting that drinks you have while you’re getting ready to go out don’t count.

Aoife O’Malley, a twenty six year old from Dublin, Ireland, claims her friends’ worries are completely unfounded as she is simply “sinking a couple of bottles” while getting ready for a night out.

“Jesus wept, those girls are total head wreckers,” Aoife admitted during a catch up with Wunderground yesterday. “Like, I know they’re just concerned but it’s not like I’m downing bottles of whiskey for breakfast, I’m just having a couple of bottles before I go, that’s all.”

“OK, so I go out six or seven nights a week, but it’s normally only down the local and all I ever have is two or three drinks while I’m there,” continued Aoife. “The ones you have when you’re getting ready don’t count so, really, I’m hardly even drinking at all, if anything I should probably be having a few more drinks.”

According to Deirdre, one of Miss O’Malley’s close friends, her drinking habits are spiraling out of control and causing her to make poor life decisions.

“Aoife’s great at acting like there ‘s nothing wrong but she’s definitely drinking far too much,” claimed Deirde, who was described as a “nosy bitch” by O’Malley. “All of this ‘drinks you have while getting ready don’t count’ and ‘I’m only sinking a couple of bottles’ carry on is all total nonsense, especially when the couple of bottles you’re sinking are bottles of wine. They definitely do count.”

“She’s out of control, last week I was wearing a brand new pair of jeans that I got from Pennies for €6, they were really cute and she didn’t even ask me where I got them,” revealed Deirde. “The old Aoife definitely would have given me a compliment, the drink’s changed her.”