A bloke who has spent the night boasting about how much of a drug taking lunatic he is is absolutely desperate for you to be his friend, it has been revealed.
Having spent the last two hours cornering you with tales of how he used to do handful drops and one time did a gram line of ket, the 24-year-old clubber who calls himself Davey Ravey – because he’s such a raver – is most likely lying and only recounting these stories in the hope you think he’s cool and befriend him.
“I went to Burning Man and Glastonbury at the same time last year,” he was heard to lie. “I sold Michael Eavis acid and played back to back with Seth Troxler but I can barely remember because I was so off my head on drugs, I’m great.”
However, most of the people in attendance at the party are reportedly aware of Davey’s tall tales and only humour him for the supply of free drugs he always has on him to win friends.
“He’s defo lying, he’s made the mistake of thinking that being a loud, brash, drug-whore is somehow hilarious and will guarantee friendship,” explained party member Adam, “he’s been cajoled by people more ruthless people into doing stupid things for their amusement.”
Some of the other tactics that he’s likely to employ include over-sharing of his own drugs, bullying those he perceives as weaker than him and jumping through whatever hoops people at the party sey for him.
“Chances are that, if you were to dare him to drink his own piss or snort some cayenne pepper, he’d probably do it, such is his desperation to be welcomed into the group by whatever means necessary,” explained Adam. “Anybody who feels the urge to make their drug taking prowess a point of pride is actually just a little bit desperate and sad, you should just give them a hug and tell them they don’t need to work so hard to impress you.”
