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June 23, 2016
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Gym Rat Finds Extra Six Hours In His Day After Cutting Topless Selfies From His Workout

It has been confirmed that a gym enthusiast who recently stopped taking topless selfies during his workouts has found an extra six hours in his day.

Twenty four year old Tommy ‘Guns’ Chambers, from Romford, Essex, is said to be “over the fucking moon” with the new found time in his life, stating that becoming a YouTube fitness guru is now a realistic ambition.

“I rarely receive presents these days, so to be given the gift of time is just brilliant,” claimed Tommy. “For ages I was seriously worried about life and in particular, time. There wasn’t enough hours in the day to prepare six high protein meals, pluck my eyebrows and nasal hair, shave my chest, moisturise, send a few Snapchat stories and of course go to the gym. Now I’ve cut out gym selfies, I have an extra six hours every single day. This gives me the perfect opportunity to set up a YouTube account and do video blogs offering fitness advice and tips.”

Wunderground managed to speak to gym manager Daniel Reynolds about Tommy’s lifestyle, “The bloke needs to get a proper job,” moaned Daniel. “He forces random members to take photos and videos of him which pisses them off to no end. Last week he spent four hours hunting for the part of the gym with the best lighting for a photo. Then it was all about puffing out his chest, flexing his triceps, standing at a semi-sideways angle which defined his oblique, all the while trying to look completely natural. I thought he was going to shit himself or pass out.”

“It’s a well weird feeling to just come to the gym and train,” continued Tommy. “I used to hear rumours that some people would leave their phone in the locker to avoid distractions, but I thought that was some weird urban myth.”

Nathon Woodhead

Nathon Woodhead

Too old to go to raves, too young to retire from them. Where does that leave me? Writing for Wunderground.

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