Trinidadian-German dance artist Haddaway, who was responsible for the floor filling monster classic which asked us What Is Love?, is today said to be no closer to finding an answer to the age old question which prompted his writing of the song.
“I’d been asking what is love my whole life, even before I, somewhat accidentally, wrote the track,” claimed Haddaway. “You see the track wasn’t actually meant to be a song, it was just me genuinely pondering what love was while at the same time I was telling a baby to stop hurting me.”
“It just happened to occur while I was singing and dancing over some electronic beats in matching key that ended up sounding like a good song and being released.”
The singer who for the last twenty years has searched for love around the world, visiting places of advanced learning and religious centers in the hopes of finding an answer to the question that has defined his life, says that in spite of his work he still doesn’t know what is love.
“I’ve asked presidents and popes the same question, often through the medium of song,” continued Haddaway. “But each time they give me some lip service answer that ‘it’s whatever you want it to be’ or ‘it’s the expression of one soul’s attachment to another’, yada yada, bullshit.”
“There was one time when, at my wits end, I asked David Hasselhoff at a party and he told me it was a special thing that happens between a man and a woman, involving a man putting his erect penis into the woman’s moist vagina,” recounted a pensive Haddaway. “David was thrusting his hips and acting out the entire process for about 15 minutes before he sat back down and whispered that the same process can happen between two men and that he could show me if I wanted to.”
“Curious to know what love was I let him show me,” he added. “It wasn’t right, and it wasn’t wrong, what else can I say?”
Haddaway, seen her pleading with some aggressive babies not to hurt him, concluded by saying that he’d continue his search for love and implored anybody reading this who knows what love is to “give me a sign”.
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