A young man who identifies as an ‘aspiring hipster’ has expressed his excitement for a new pair of Beats by Dre headphones which he feels will help him assert his singular personality.
“I don’t think I’m quite unique or hipster enough yet,” claimed Sam Withers, from London. “I mean I have a quirky dress sense, vague disillusionment with most things and even though I’m 29 I behave like a surly teenager, so I tick most, but not all, of the boxes.”
“I’m just hoping that my personality can shine through when I accumulate all the unnecessary accoutrements,” elaborated the graphic designer/street artist/blogger. “For me, your personality isn’t so much who you are inside the core of your being, it’s about which passing fad you express on the outside, because that’s what people see. Not your insides.”
“That’s why I’m getting a pair of Dre’s,” gushed Sam. “I felt that I was a little bit incomplete before but once I get these headphones they’re going to look so distinctive sitting on my head that everyone will think I’m the coolest, most unique guy around. Ironically enough, I don’t even like music, which makes it even cooler for me to wear them.”
“I’ve also ordered some lens-less glasses to get a more ‘hipster’ look,” continued Sam. “I have prescription glasses because I actually need to wear glasses to see but wearing just the frames, without the actual lenses inside, makes so much more of a statement of individuality.”
“I just wasn’t being appreciated for my coolness before now but once I have the Beats by Dre, everyone will know I’m cool,” explained Sam. “I guess if I had to put a number on it, I’d say I’ll probably be three or three and a half times cooler after I wear the headphones than I am right now. So like, pretty cool.”
“Ever since I saw a hipster on TV I knew that I wanted to dress in a quirky and unique way, exactly like him,” Sam admitted. “The look he had just seemed so purposefully contrived, impractical and attention seeking. I’d never seen a guy wearing a beret with dungarees cycling a fixed gear bicycle before and it blew my mind.”
“I’m hoping when people see me dressed exactly like that, but also wearing my Beats by Dre, that it’ll blow people’s minds. I want them to look at me and think, ‘Wow, look at Sam wearing those Beats by Dre. I used to think he was a bit of a nerdy faggot but now with his highly-priced, fashion accessory headphones he looks so unique, just like the rest of us.'”
Should I be surprised how are some people dumb and egoistic? If this has to be our society then I don´t know what to think about it.