In what can only be described as sour grapes, Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has spoken out about missing out on the biggest role in world politics by confirming she “didn’t want the job anyway”.
The sixty nine year old female, whose campaign was surrounded by controversy from start to finish, is said to have told friends she “doesn’t give a shit” about finishing second to Donald Trump and that she only entered as a “drunken dare” anyway.
“Do I look bothered?” Hillary asked in a condescending tone. “The real joke is on you lot who thought I actually wanted to be President. It’s a well shit job with shit pay and horrible hours, there’s no way I would have taken it if I’d won. I feel sorry for Donald, he thought I was trying my best to win when in reality I wasn’t trying at all, now he looks well silly for trying really, really, really hard to win.”
“Ask any of my mates and they’ll back me up,” continued Hillary. “They’ll tell you this was all a big wind up at the expense of everybody who took an interest in it. I’ve punked you lot real good. You wait, Ashton Kutcher is going to appear at the white house, with his camera and crew, any second now.”
Wunderground spoke with Bill Clinton, former President and husband of Hillary, about his wife’s admission, “She isn’t lying you know,” he confirmed. “We got drunk one night and thought it would be an epic LOL to pretend she wanted to run the country. I can’t believe people hadn’t worked it out sooner. From all of us Clintons, I would like to wish Donald Trump good luck in the role that we definitely, one hundred percent, didn’t want. The way we see it is it was a one person election race which he finished top and bottom of.”
