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November 6, 2014
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“I Will Look For You And I Will Find You” Liam Neeson Warns Burial

Irish actor and on screen hard-man Liam Neeson has sent a bone chilling message to dubstep enigma Burial warning that he will look for him and find him.

The warning comes just days after Hyperdub, the label that introduced Burial to the world, released Lambeth, a new track from the London-based producer, as part of their ten year anniversary celebrations.

Neeson, who has acquired a particular set of skills over a very long career which aid him in the tracking down of mysterious people, is known to be a massive dubstep fan and is believed to be interested in hiring Burial to perform at a private New Year’s Eve party.

“I love a bit of Dubstep,” claimed Neeson in a recent interview. “There’s nothing I like better than unwinding at the end of a long day by getting my wobble on with a big fat line of ket and some warpy bass heavy beats. If there’s a better way to relax I haven’t found it yet.”

“I’m planning a really big party for New Year’s this year. It’s going to be brilliant. So far I have everything sorted apart from the music, “revealed the Irish bad-ass. “M. Night Shyamalan has agreed to bring over a couple of liters of ket from India, myself and Ralph Fiennes are going to get the ferry to France to sort out some cheap booze and Colm Meaney is bringing a couple of ounces of hash up from Dublin. All we need now is a good DJ.”

“Originally I wanted to get Skream but he doesn’t play dubstep anymore and I’m just not into house or techno,” continued Neeson. “So next best for me is Burial. I know he likes to be secretive and stay out of the limelight but I’m just going to let him know now that if he agrees to play now that’ll be the end of it,” warned Neeson, “but if he doesn’t, I will hunt him down, I will find him and I will hire him.”

So far Burial has failed to respond to Neeson’s warning, however, sources close to producer have indicated that he “probably will play” because you would “have to mad to say no to Liam Neeson”.

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