Pot smoking teenage stoners are expected to once again enjoy fooling their inquisitive parents this summer by blaming their puffy, bloodshot eyes on the seasonal bout of hay fever.
The red, bloodshot eyes of the extremely stoned almost exactly mimics the allergic symptoms of hayfever and has been used by young teens as an excuse to hide their stonedness for generations.
“I love this time of year,” claimed 17 year stoner Jamie Adams, who we interviewed around the back of the bike sheds during his lunch hour. “I can go home stoned out of my mind with my red eyes falling out of my head and if my mother suspects anything I’ll just say it’s hay fever.”
“Sometimes I’ll even check which days the pollen count is supposed to be particularly high and extra stoned,” he added.
According to hay fever suffering, weed smoking teens it’s “the perfect crime” and that having to suffer the symptoms of hay fever is “completely worth it” as it means they can get away with being completely stoned.
“It’s brilliant,” continued Jamie, “once you say your hay fever is acting up my parents will transform from being suspicious prison wardens to lovely concerned nurses in seconds, sometimes even running me a nice bath to wash off the pollen and giving me treats.”
“I wish I had it all year,” concluded Jamie who claims that “it’s not just parents that the excuse works on but teachers and bosses too”, before suggesting to all young stoners out there that they should fake hay fever symptoms using “some pepper in the nose and Vick’s Nasal Inhaler rubbed under the eyes” so that people think you suffer from hay fever and aren’t just extremely stoned.
