An insecure man has today revealed how he is forced to order a pint everytime he’s around the lads despite really wanting to drink wine.
21-year-old student Brian Browne, claims he’s been ordering pints he doesn’t want instead of the glass of wine he does because he’s afraid to seem unmanly around his mates.
“It’s silly but while I quite like wine I know that the lads off the football team mistakenly think that it’s somehow a feminine drink and if I order it they’ll give me a bit of stick by intimating I’m gay or have a vagina,” explained Brian. “So, even though I don’t really like the taste of beer, I’ll order a pint everytime, usually while talking about football, making a racist joke or pointing at someone’s tits, you know, so they think I’m a real bloke.”
“The only respite I get is when I’m home by myself or with a girl, in which case drinking wine, rather than being seen as ‘gay’ by idiots, is accepted for the delicious gender neutral drink it is,” he added.
Brian claims he’s tried unsuccessfully to reposition wine as a manly drink by explaining how all the cool characters in Game of Thrones drink it and pointing out that Alex Ferguson used to share a glass with rival managers after every home game.
“That had some minor affect,” he added. “But still doesn’t stop the weird looks I get when I break the rounds in the pub to have a Pinot Grigio so I usually just get a beer that I won’t enjoy so my meathead mates won’t mildly rib me.”
