The Japanese government has this week repealed a half century old law that banned dancing after seeing the hit Kevin Bacon movie Footloose.
Reports from sources close to the ministers claim that the decision was reached after a late night emergency double bill viewing of Dirty Dancing and Footloose – which they say helped inspire the decision to repeal the law.
“We didn’t want our international partners thinking we were against cringeworthy 1980s dance moves like the weird town in Footloose that doesn’t allow dancing for reasons that are never quite explained adequately,” claimed a ministerial aide who insisted that the decision was reached after a balanced session that saw the negative and positive aspects of dancing depicted in the 80s cinematic masterpieces. “Much like the dad character at the end of Dirty Dancing we were won over to the merits of dancing as artistic expression.”
The scene when Kevin Bacon first “angry dances” in the woods was reportedly pivotal to the decision making process with some ministers claiming they were moved to tears by the emotional athleticism of the dance moves as well as the freeform style employed by Bacon – “like a balletic deer, except more graceful”.
“We’d like to invite Kevin Bacon to come and be the first person to bust some moves in one of our new clubs that will allow dancing after midnight,” continued the aide. “I actually know Kevin Bacon, he’s a my cousin’s, old college roommate’s, neighbour’s, half brother’s, cousin’s uncle.”
Responding to accusations that the repeal on the dance law was a cynical ploy to protect any potential loss of earnings ahead of the 2020 Toyko Olympics Minister Takana Hideoko said that the obvious financial benefit “was totally unrelated to the decision, we’d just honestly never seen the classic that is Footloose and didn’t realise we were depriving our people the freedom to dance, and spend money.”
Nightclub owners in Japan are reportedly ecstatic with the decision allowing their patrons to dance until late at night with others saying they are just feeling relief that “it was the good 80s Footloose and not the horrible, never-should-have-been-made disaster from 2011″ which surely would have “understandably caused dancing to be banned altogether”.
