Techno legend Jeff Mills has today released a statement informing fans that, in spite of recent attempts to use him as one, he is not a bottle recycling bank or a bin for bottles of any kind.
The DJ recently had to cut his set at Dour Festival in Belgium short after a fan mistook the DJing legend for a bottle recycling point rather than a human man and tossed a bottle onstage hitting Mr. Mills equipment.
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” claimed the fan who says that he was trying to be environmentally responsible and recycle his plastic bottle properly when he mistook Mr. Mills for a bottle bank. “I threw it with an underhand motion that has been quite accurate for me in the past when suddenly, mid air, I realised that it wasn’t a bottle bank onstage playing an intricate techno set, but Jeff Mills.”
“It was an easy mistake to make,” he added before throwing a half eaten sandwich into the open mouth of a passing baby. “Where does it say that Jeff Mills isn’t a bottle bank? Nowhere, that’s where.”
This isn’t the first time that the influential techno DJ has been mistaken for a bottle receptacle with a similar incident having occurred at an Italian show earlier this year when another fan made the same mistake and threw an empty drinks container on stage striking Mr. Mills in the head and causing him to end his set.
“I’m up here to play music for the enjoyment of everybody, not to recycle plastic bottles,” read a statement from Mr. Mills. “I am not, nor have I ever been a bottle bank or bin for bottles of any kind. Yes, I use bottles – mainly for drinking out of or urinating in during extended sets or boring Tuesday evenings – but I dispose of them in a proper bin or container, not in my own mouth.”
“So please I urge fans to dispose of your bottles in a safe manner and not by tossing them disrespectfully against my head – they won’t be recycled or even taken to a landfill if that happens. They’ll merely hit me in the head and cause me to end my set,” concluded Mr. Mills who stressed that he has nothing against bottle banks and uses them all the time but that he just isn’t one and may even undergo drastic surgery to ensure that he’s never mistaken for a bottle bank again. “Obviously there’s something about me that looks like a bottle bank so surgery could be the only answer.”
“If it happens again I’ll probably just have to retire from DJing and become a bottle bank full time, standing on street corners with my mouth open while borderline alcoholics push their weekend’s flotsam into my open mouth.”
Other DJs have been mistaken for bottle banks in the past while unfortunately Steve Aoki has never been mistaken for a bottle bank, nor has he being mistaken for a DJ.