An English ketamine addict has reportedly contacted his doctor and claimed that he is feeling a bit hoarse.
Peter Mustang, who takes up to five grams of the horse tranquilizer every day, noticed a “tickle” in his throat early yesterday morning which progressively worsened throughout the course of the day.
“I was just sitting around, staring at my bedroom wall and contemplating the makeup of the galaxy, the same as I do most days, when I noticed a bit of a scratchy feeling in my throat,” explained Mr Mustang in a barely audible voice. “I knew there was something wrong but I was momentarily trapped in an alternative dimension so I couldn’t quite figure out what it was.”
“After about six hours of microdosing massive lines, I realised I’d spent most of the day thinking I was a horse running in Cheltenham,” continued Mustang. “I must have been cheering myself on because the little scratchy feeling in my throat had got a lot worse. It felt a little bit like I was trying to swallow a cactus, washed down with a glass of extra coarse sand.”
“Today I can hardly even talk, and before you ask it’s not just because I’ve been buried in the depths of a K hole all day like it normally is, it’s because I’m actually feeling quite hoarse,” Claimed Mr Mustang. “I asked my doctor what I should do and he recommended some sort of medicine, but to be honest with you I don’t trust that shit, you don’t know what they put in it, so I’ll just get some honey and lemon and hope that works.”
According to reports, Mr Mustang was forced to take regular medicine after honey and lemon failed to heal his throat. It is believed a friend told him to “get off his high horse” and recommended he suck a benzocaine lozenge.
