A British lad involved in a love triangle with two women is said to be on the verge of suggesting a threesome as the best way to resolve the “awkward and frosty” situation.
Twenty eight year old Ben Smith, from Essex, England, was overheard saying “kill me now” when former lover, Steph, arrived at the same holiday resort where he happened to be staying with a group of friends, including new love interest Lucy.
“Fuck my life,” moaned Ben. “Steph is fit and dynamite in bed, but I pied her off about three months ago for being a horrible bitch. I’ve been seeing Lucy ever since. We’re part of the same circle of friends and every time the three of us are in each other’s company back home I literally want the ground to eat me up. It’s got to the point where I’ll try anything to make the situation better.”
“I was chatting to my friend Jon, who knows a thing or two about the way birds think, and he explained their hatred only stems from the sexual tension and arousal I’ve created and that I should suggest we all have a little roll around to release any animosity we have for each other. To be honest, that’s starting to sound like a bloody good idea – I reckon they’ll go for it.”
Wunderground managed to speak with his friend regarding the suggestion, “Please God let him make this proposition to the girls,” laughed Jon. “I don’t know if the sun has gone to his head, if he’s taken too much ecstasy or if he’s just a fucking idiot, but there’s no way on earth the girls will like this idea. They would sooner scratch each other’s eyes out than get in bed together. This is all going to end in tears and I’m going to be there laughing my head off.”
“What I’ll do is invite both girls to my room separately,” continued Ben. “Whoever arrives first I’ll invite into bed, ensuring the door is left wide open for the other to come and join us. I cannot wait for this to happen; I’ve got whipped cream, chocolate sauce, handcuffs and a blindfold to make it a bit kinky. It is going to be epic.”
