A lad claiming to have shagged over five hundred girls has been proven to be somewhat of an exaggerator, following an altercation in a local pub.
Twenty five year old, self-proclaimed “ladies man” Jack “The Lad” Johnson is believed to have been “spinning yarns” to his group of friends, having returned from working his fifth season in Magaluf, when he was outed as a liar by two girls he had supposedly had a “three-way” with.
“He was telling us about this threesome he had with these two naughty little birds, Ronnie and Lucy, when coincidentally they walked into the pub,” his friend Lee told us. “All of a sudden, Jack went silent and tried to hide. When they saw him they came over and gave him a big cuddle, saying he was the cutest, kindest and most considerate guy they’d ever met. They referred to him as a ‘great listener’ and like ‘the little brother they’d never had’.”
“To me, this didn’t add up, so having had about ten pints of Stella I outright asked if they enjoyed the threesome. They hit the roof when we told them what he’d said. Jack literally ran out of the boozer and hasn’t turned his phone on since. He also deleted his Facebook. It’s been nine days.”
Wunderground spoke with Ronnie to find out if he had slept with anywhere near five hundred women, “Not a fucking chance,” Ronnie told us. “He was a great bloke but none of the worker girls went near him. We just didn’t see him like that. He was more the bloke we talked about our sex lives with than the bloke we had sex with. I think he met one girl back in 2014 that he might have slept with. She was on a girl’s holiday. That’s the only time I can link him to anybody romantically though.”
“He comes back every year and tells us about hundreds of conquests,” continued Lee. “We all thought he was a right ‘player’. I can’t believe he’s been lying all this time, what a silly cunt. I’m going to absolutely bury him when he shows his face again. Might buy him the Sex For Dummies book.”
