A young British lad has promised his parents that he will never abuse drugs because he loves taking them far too much.
Aaron Spencer, an unemployed nineteen-year-old, revealed that drugs are “the biggest thing in [his] life at the moment” and he will never turn his back on them.
“It’s like that old geezer in the song said, when it comes to drugs, I’m never going to give them up, I’m never going to let them down, I’m never going to turn around and desert them,” Spencer told Wunderground earlier. “They’re pretty much the most important thing in my life at the moment and I’d never do anything to jeopardise our relationship.”
“My first love was actually a lump squidgy black,” continued the teenager. “I was the summer, I was sixteen and it was imported from Afghanistan, we hit it off straight away. No matter what I’ve smoked since then, I’ve never found a connection quite like that. That’s just one small part of the impact drugs have had on my life, you know what they say, you can’t choose your family but you can choose your drugs, and I do, regularly.”
“I don’t know why there’s all this talk about drug abuse this and abusing drugs that. As far as I’m concerned, if you’re abused by, or abusing, drugs, you’re buying them in the wrong place,” he claimed. “You just need to get good drugs and you’ll never want to abuse them. Why would you? They’re pretty much man’s best friend these days.”
According to rumours, at the time of going to print, Mr Spencer is believed to have fallen out of love with drugs after a “bad mushroom trip”. However, he later changed his opinion and decided he still loved drugs but hated nature.