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May 12, 2014
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Las Vegas Rebranded As DJ Retirement Home

EDM capital of America, Las Vegas, home to some of dance music’s most well known past their best DJs, such as Paul Oakenfold, is set to rebrand itself as a DJ retirement community in a bid to attract some other fading stars.

“Vegas has a long history of offering a sanctuary for musicians who stopped being relevant to ply their wares until their hips need replacing,” explained Las Vegas promoter Jackson Bloome. “People like Tom Jones, Rod Stewart and Barbara Streisand were able to stave off the cold spectre of death for years thanks to their extended stints in Vegas. We want to provide the same cushion for aging EDM stars.”

Jackson claimed that all the aging DJs needs will be catered for in Vegas where they will be offered things like extended residencies, 1 hour sets, an audience of free spending retards and daily sponge baths.

Las Vegas is also home to some of dance music’s most well known commerical stars which Jackson says is proof that “anyone with a name or slightest vestige of an association to someone who once listened to dance music can get a gig” pointing to upcoming DJ sets by will.I.am and Macklemore at XS as proof that “they’re letting anyone behind the decks”.

“We really need to start looking after our older DJs,” continued Jackson. “They’ve done their time and it’s not right that they fall into obscurity without so much as a thank you for what they’ve done for the scene, we’re hoping by giving them a stint in Vegas they’ll be able to live out the rest of their DJ careers in comfort like Paul Oakenfold, Steve Angello and octogenarian slot-jockeys.”

“DJ’s like Seb Fontaine, Brandon Block & Judge Jules would do well to follow in the footsteps of Oakey and come out here for the twilight of their careers,” advised Jackson. “Las Vegas is where relevant dance music goes to die, so why not come here and die in style.”

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