A number of hardcore London clubbers have been forced to employ the help of psychics to find tickets for the monthly ABODE party, held in Greenwich’s Studio 338, it has emerged.
Tickets for ABODE have become hot property on the London clubbing circuit following a solid year of sold out Sunday sessions at one of the capital’s most popular venues.
Clubber Pete Fowler admitted to reaching out to the occult in an attempt to bag a ticket for the eagerly awaited Halloween party, taking place on Sunday 1st November.
“It’s practically impossible to get a ticket for one of those ABODE parties,” claimed Pete earlier today. “I’ve been trying every month for the last year but, honestly, it’d be easier to catch chlamydia off a nun than it is to get your hands on a ticket.”
The in demand ABODE tickets are allocated by applying for a “secret ticket link” which can then be used to buy tickets through Resident Adviser.
“I don’t have the time or the patience for any of that Resident Adviser nonsense,” continued Pete, who claims to be “shit at computers”. “So I decided I’d try something a little different this time and found a reasonably priced clairvoyant called Psychic Psylvia to help me find a ticket.”
“She’s very good,” insisted Pete, who was voted “Most Likely To Get Ripped Off At A Carnival” in the Stoke Newington School 1997 Yearbook. “She was able to tell me lots of different things about my life after I contacted her on Facebook. So I decided to set up a face to face meeting.”
“She told me a number of things that were going to happen me in the future, including that I would get my hands on an ABODE ticket,” continued Pete enthusiastically. “Some of what I was told has already come true. She said I’d have an important decision to make, and then I went for lunch and had to decide between chicken and ham for my sandwich, then she told me to be careful on the road, and I was, and that was all just in one day.”
“I’m not even going to bother looking for an ABODE ticket now,” he added with confidence. “I’m just going to sit back and wait for it to arrive in the post. She also told me I’m going to come into some money by the end of the month, how could she know I’d be getting paid in the next three weeks? So it’s shaping up to be a great Halloween.”
According to our paranormal sources, Psychic Psylvia is “about as psychic as a broken clock, right twice a day but about as useful as a non-alcoholic beer at an Irish funeral”.
