According to education experts, London’s nightlife will soon be “resigned to the history books” once the reworked history curriculum is released next week.
Michael Lerner claims the latest curriculum will include a “significant section” on London’s nightlife and “will look back at London’s heyday fondly”.
“We’ve totally revamped the modern history section of the history curriculum,” claimed Lerner earlier. “Let’s be honest, a lot of Britain’s older history is, frankly, a bit morbid and shit so we’ve decided to leave out some of the crappy content and focus on some more feel good themes in the reworked curriculum.”
“We’ll be focusing a lot on London’s nightlife,” confirmed Lerner, an employee at the Department for Education. “We’ll be looking at the period starting with the swinging sixties, right up to 2016, when London’s nightlife officially died.”
Wunderground spoke to year ten student Samantha Carr to find out her thoughts on the reworked curriculum, “I think it’s well cool that we’re going to be learning about London’s nightlife. I’ve got two older brothers and both of them used to go to clubs like Fabric and Studio 338 all the time.”
“It’s totes amazeballs that my brothers have been to clubs in London and we’re part of London’s nightlife history,” continued Ms Carr. “It’s kind of like they were in the war or something, only instead of fighting in France they were raving in East London. I think it’s important that they teach us youngsters about the clubs because other wise we’d never know how cool they were.”
“I think they should have a poppy day for London’s nightlife, where everyone walks around with a giant Mitsubishi pinned to their shirts,” suggested Samantha. “That’s way more fun than wearing a poppy for someone who died ages ago and, at the end of it, we can all take the Mitsis and have a big rave.”
Other changes to the history curriculum will see the dark ages replaced with England’s most humiliating World Cup appearances, the Reformation replaced with X-Factor finalists and Mary Queen of Scots replaced with the life and trials of Peggy Mitchell.
