Newly uncovered archaeological evidence from Peru suggests that Machu Picchu was actually the Earth’s first super club.
Dr Henry Jones, an expert in ancient civilisations, claims to have uncovered a number of artifacts which “categorically prove” that Machu Picchu was, at some point in history, the epicenter of world clubbing.
“This is probably one of the most significant archaeological finds of all time,” confirmed Dr Jones during a Skype interview with Wunderground. “Not only does it completely change everything we thought we knew about Machu Picchu but it could possibly answer the mystery surrounding the place and it’s inhabitants’ demise.”
“The most significant items we found in our latest dig were thousand of mirror ball fragments,” continued Jones. “The way they were scattered over a large area would suggest that this was once the focalpoint of Machu Picchu and grooves in the ground around the area where they were located suggests that people were dancing around the mirror ball for at least three hundred years. We also found a number of empty baggies in the toilet area of the club, which to me suggests recreational drug use.”
“Up until now, most historians believed that the people of Machu Picchu, the Incas, disappeared due to a smallpox epidemic, which is just a polite way of saying they were slaughtered by the Spanish,” claimed Jones, “but now it seems like there is a far more reasonable and less savage explanation. My theory is that changes in licensing laws forced the Incas to leave Machu Picchu and find somewhere else to house their parties, much like what is happening in London nowadays.”
