Man Asks Thomas Cook For Refund As He “Can’t Remember’ His Ibiza Trip

A man has written to staff at the Kettering branch of Thomas Cook demanding a full refund, claiming he “can’t remember” his Ibiza trip so assumes it didn’t happen.

Twenty one year old Roland Glass is believed to have “high expectations” about getting his full nine hundred pounds refunded, suggesting the travel agent is a “reputable company” who are not in the business of “ripping people off”.

“I paid for the holiday but don’t recall a thing,” confirmed a very confused Roland. “I vaguely remember going to Weatherspoons on Saturday; but it’s fucking Saturday again today and I don’t have the foggiest as to where those seven days have gone. If I had been to Ibiza, I’d remember it wouldn’t I. I’m sure Thomas Cook will be cool with it. People cancel and miss holidays all the time and get their money back, don’t they?

“Weirdly, I have a proper fuzzy head today. You’d think sleeping for seven days would mean I wake up feeling invigorated and on top of the world but I feel like absolute dog-shit. I’m a bit pink too. Not sure how I caught the sun from my bed to be honest. Also, I’ve checked my online banking and there’s been a few card payments made to Spanish bars so I’m guessing one of the lads who did go stole my bank card, the wanker.”

Penny Jacobs of Thomas Cook in Kettering had this to say to Wunderground, “Whilst we are sympathetic to Roland’s request, it isn’t going to happen. He checked in at the airport, was accounted for on the flight, and made it to the hotel. Our Thomas Cook rep spent seven hours with him on his first night when he was paralytic. It’s not uncommon for people to go wild in Ibiza but to forget a full week’s worth of action seems outrageous. We don’t know if he trying it on or if he is actually that much of a messy bastard.”

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