A man who was caught gurning in changing winds has been told that he will now be stuck that way forever.
The unlucky incident happened on Saturday night during a routine visit to a nightclub’s smoking area. Simon Friars, the unfortunate gurner is said to be devastated after receiving the harrowing news from face doctors early this morning.
Steven Partridge, a friend of Mr. Friars’, spoke of the incident, “We were just having a normal Saturday night out, Simon had hit the mandy a little hard and he was proper gurining in the corner of the club.”
“It was hilarious at first but then I remembered we were supposed to be going back to Simon’s house afterwards so I sent him out to the Smoking area to get a bit of air in case the bouncers threw him out,” explained Mr. Partridge. “It was when he was out there that the wind changed and now the poor bastard’s left looking like he’s got a lemon in his mouth for the rest of his life,” he added.
“Simon is a bank clerk, I don’t know how he’s going to be able to go back to work after this,” revealed the sympathetic friend. “It’s going to completely change his life, the best job he can hope for now is probably as a scarecrow or an extra in a Boiler Room video.”
“I bet he wishes he took more notice of his mother advice now,” he added with hindsight.
Wind expert, Michael Daly, explained the freak occurrence, “Changing winds are caused by differences in atmospheric pressure, which is usually caused by different air temperatures. It’s very rare that we come across a wind change so localised and strong enough to cause somebody’s face to stay that way forever. It really is a most unfortunate event.”
Mr. Friars was not the only victim of the changing winds with face doctors also reporting two cases of tongue out, five cases of pig nose and ten thousand cases of duck mouth.
