A young clubber, excited by his imminent holiday to Ibiza, is working at 24% effort in his job.
26-year-old data entry clerk, laptop DJ and shuffler, Adam Best, has reportedly been getting progressively lazier in his job as it gets closer to the date he flies out.
“I’m shocked frankly, that he can put so much into the job despite being off to Ibiza next week, he must really care about his job,” explained co-worker Andrew. “I would have thought maybe 10% of effort but he’s really digging deep.”
“This is more effort than he puts in most Mondays,” he added. “When normally he just stares at his computer and sweats into his shirt before shakily leaving early, all the while entertaining thoughts of ending the day with a curative whiskey and valium cocktail.”
Witnesses say that Sam has spent the majority of the last few weeks avoiding doing even the most rudimentary of work, prefering instead to drool over line ups, watch videos from the Amnesia terrace and imagining himself in Bora Bora under the noon sun.
Senior management are reportedly considering giving Sam some sort of commendation or raise based on the sterling effort he’s putting in.
“I saw him and sure for the first hour he was looking at Youtube videos of Marco Carola and wanking but for about 10 minutes before lunch I saw him make not one but two business calls,” claimed Adam’s manager Angela. “That’s a worker right there!”
“We won’t see his like again,” she added before suggesting that if Adam were to return to work on the scheduled day then he’ll probably be made a partner immediately. “Anyone who manages to drag themselves into work on the day after they get home Ibiza deserves a firm handshake and 40k a year raise.”
Read: Co-Workers Secretly Amused That You Think You’re A DJ
More: Promoter Shocks Internet By Sharing Track From DJ They Haven’t Got Booked
