A young raver has been left “massively embarrassed” after awkwardly forgetting the name of a girl with whom he spent 6 hours at a recent rave under the influence of popular street drug, ecstasy.
Michael Simmonds, claimed that he met the girl “just after dropping” when they were both at the edge of the dancefloor “coming up hard.”
“I just looked over and she caught my eye,” explained Michael. “She knew that I was coming up on the pill and I was probably a bit flustered looking from all the sighing, self comforting and wanting not to piss or shit myself.”
“She introduced herself and offered me a drink of water and we just got talking,” continued Michael. “From what I remember she was a really cool and inspirational glowstick clad person shaped thing. We danced for what seemed like forever and then got to talking about life, cartoons and how high we both were. At one point I think we agreed to form a band that would stand for radical subversion of social norms in the name of achieving a more equitable society. Or something.”
“So about four hours, two packets of chewing gum and a few back massages later we had a spliff and went our separate ways agreeing to meet up in the next few weeks to start working on music,” claimed Michael. “Which is strange because I don’t even play an instrument and have an irrational fear of keyboards.”
Michael claims that at that point he went home to bed and slept for 10 hours after which point his memory of the night was “as blurry as Robin Thicke’s denials of misogyny.”
Michael claims that one week later he ran into the same girl at a party by a mutual friend. “I was at a birthday party in a friend’s house and at one point this random girl came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and cooed ‘Guess who?'” recounted Michael. “I just said ‘Oh it’s you’ and we hugged but I was totally clueless about who she was. I even tried to introduce her to a friend without saying her name to see if she’d offer it but she already knew my friend so I was fucked.”
“She started saying things like ‘When are we getting the band together?’ and ‘Last week at that rave where we met was brilliant’ but I still couldn’t place where I knew her from so I just smiled and nodded. It’s the same trick I use when I’m pretending to listen to girls I want to sleep with,” explained Michael. “I eventually just asked her her name and where I knew her from because I began to feel like she had me confused with someone else.”
“Well that was a bad move,” revealed Michael. “After she stopped crying in the arms of the noticeably indignant female population of the party she poured a drink over me and called me a ‘knob-headed wanker cunt’ for everyone to hear.”
“When she angrily and grudgingly explained that we met the week before I could see in her eyes that she was devastated and any possibility of friendship was lost forever,” lamented Michael. “I got massively drunk that night and pissed myself which was arguably less awkward than not knowing what’s-her-name’s name.”
So.. what is this implying?