Shock waves have rippled around Ibiza this afternoon after a man donning the highly trendy yet incredibly hated man-bun hairstyle, also known as a top-knot, has turned out to be a very friendly person.
Following a survey conducted by A-BASTARD (Association of Barber Apprentice Stylist Technician Average cutter Really good Dresser) earlier this year, results revealed that males with a top-knot hair style were most likely to “ignore females who do not mention the man-bun in their opening sentence to said male”, “ignore bald people of all ages and genders including new born children until they can express full appreciation of the man-bun” and most notably “disregard the opinion of anybody unwilling to complement their hair after being prompted on three or more occasions”.
“We are in complete shock that this guy was polite and courteous to fellow holiday makers,” claimed London based twenty nine year old hair technician, Sarah Galloway. “Notoriously guys with that haircut turn out to be complete dicks with their head so far up their own arse the top-knot spills out of their mouth like a barrage or puke. This guy was different, he was genuinely nice; chatting to people, buying drinks and having a good time with a smile on his face”.”
Wunderground contacted a senior ambassador of underground gentleman’s club, Man-Bun Anonymous for his view on this breaking news, “Whilst the man in question isn’t a registered member of our club, it still saddens me to hear of his behaviour,” revealed forty four year old model/actor/singer/dancer Jacob Sterling. “We have a reputation to uphold, and all the time this guy is interacting with fat and ugly people without a care in the world is damaging for our kind. We have sent representatives to Ibiza to offer him the chance to conform to our code of conduct of being a one dimensional, miserable cunt with nothing interesting to say, or risk having his pride and joy snipped for good. We have done it in the past and will do it again.”
