A man who is this morning volunteering as a nude model in a still life drawing class is regretting his decision to take pills last night.
Steven Murray, a twenty-three-year-old student who still hasn’t slept, signed up for the role in an attempt to meet girls but now believes he will be seen as a laughing stock.
Wunderground caught up with him moments before he had to pose, “I can’t believe I was up all night taking pills,” he anxiously told us. “I was planning on having an early night but around eight o’clock I decided to get myself three cans from the offie because I was feeling a little bit nervous about getting my dick out, one thing led to another and know here I am with a cock like a peanut.”
“The only reason I decided to volunteer was because I know the still life classes are full of birds,” continued Murray. “I’m not too good with the women, I mean, I’m not a bad looking bloke and, normally, I’ve got an above average penis but it’s to talking to them that I struggle with, once we get down to business there are absolutely no issues, I just find it hard to break the ice.”
“So, I thought, if they’ve already seen my lad it’ll make the next step a little bit easier,” revealed the soon to be naked student. “I’m pretty sure it would have worked too, only instead of a footlong I’m packing what looks like a dehydrated cocktail sausage, none of the girls in there will even talk to me after this, let alone shag me.”
“I spent half an hour in a really hot shower before I came here but it was no use,” he continued. “The worst thing is, there’s about fifteen of them in there, that’s fifteen drawings of my tiny cock, half the bloody college will probably have seen them by the end of the day. I’ll never live this down.”
According to witnesses, Mr Murray’s nightmare went from bad to worse after one member of the class found his tiny penis so funny she decided to Facebook Live the entire class.
