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June 5, 2015
1 min read

Man Who Bought Decks Pretending He’ll Use Them Daily

24-year-old clubber, habitual drug user and therefore wannabe DJ, David Yates is reportedly lying to himself if he thinks that he’s going to use his recently bought Technics 1210s every day.

David recently purchased the decks from a friend making the claim that he’s “going to get off the party buzz for a while and really focus on getting good at Djing”.

Friends claim that David has been entertaining the idea of becoming a DJ for the last 6 years, most often when coked out of it at parties, and that, despite paying a few hundred quid for the decks, he’ll rarely use them.

“He’s just not that into music,” explained David’s friend Tim. “I think, or rather know, that he just bought the decks on a whim with a fantasy that he’d get good really quick and as a result of that get gigs and be the centre of attention at parties.”

“But, without being too hard on him, it’s much more likely that he’ll make a few forays into trying to beat match, discover it’s tougher than it looks, lose interest and let them gather dust.”

“They won’t go without use completely, every couple of months or after an inspiring party or set he’ll get all hot under the collar to use them again before once again losing interest after a week when the rest of his life gets in the way.”

“I’ll defo be using them every day,” refuted David. “I’m going to practice 3 hours a night, except Mondays cause I’ll be recoving from the weekend then Tuesday and Wednesday there’ll be Champions League football on then Thursday is basically Friday so I’ll go for a few drinks and then well the rest of the weekend is write off cause I’ll be out partying but I’ll make time somewhere.”

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