A man who bought what he believed to be a longline t-shirt has been left shocked after discovering it is actually a dress.
Peter Marriner, twenty eight, was hoping to upgrade his wardrobe when he made the purchase, which he admitted was a “little outside [his] comfort zone”.
“I’m not what you would call a typically fashionable person,” admitted Mr Marriner earlier today. “So when one of my friends suggested I give myself a bit of a makeover I was equally excited and nervous about the prospect of shopping for a new look, but I decided I’d do it and took myself off into town for a little shopping.”
“Alls I’ve been hearing about is skinny jeans and longline t-shirts so I thought they’d be a good starting point for me but I didn’t really have a clue where to buy them,” continued the embarrassed shopper. “After walking around town aimlessly looking in shop windows for about four hours I seen what I thought was an extra long t-shirt in a place called New Look, they were really cheap too so I went in bought one in every colour they had.”
“I took them straight home and put one on so I could call over to mate’s house and surprise her with my new look,” explained Marriner. “But as soon as I stepped out of the house I started to notice that people were looking at me weirdly. At first I thought they must have been impressed by fashion prowess but then the shouting started. Things like ‘Oi Lily Savage nice legs’ and ‘Look boys it’s Beardy Spice’ I knew something was wrong so I sprinted the rest of the way there.”
“When I arrived my friend just started laughing at me and told me I’d bought the entire New Look summer collection,” he revealed gingerly. “I haven’t been that embarrassed since the time I got caught wanking to a breastfeeding supplement from The Sunday Times.”
In related news, a man shopping for a “killer vest” in Damascus, Syria, has been killed after he returned to his home to find he had a bought a fully armed suicide vest.