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September 15, 2016
1 min read

Man Who Claimed He’d Eat Healthily On Holiday Found In McDonalds Every Day

A thirty one year old man who claimed he would eat healthily on holiday has been found eating in McDonald’s every day.

Richard Longhurst, from Bucks, England, is said to have also told friends and family that while away, he intended to “limit how much he drinks”, as well as “get up and use the gym in the mornings before sunbathing”.

“He is full of shit,” said girlfriend, Sarah McConnell. “We went and had a look at the gym on arrival but Rich said his back was ‘playing up’, so, instead, he went and sat by the pool and got massively pissed. That night, we got dressed for dinner and went for fillet steak, rice and a side salad, on his request but he hardly touched a thing. He said it tasted ‘different’ to English food – and that it was all a bit ‘foreign and weird’.”

“In the end I gave up trying to talk him into eating at the hotel,” Sarah told us. “I went for dinner with another couple six out of the seven nights, while Rich wandered into the local town to get his Big Mac meal. Such a typical little Englander.”

Wunderground managed to speak to Richard’s mother regarding her son’s behaviour, “He only booked that hotel because, according to TripAdvisor, it had some seriously good food places available,” she explained. “There were ten a la carte restaurants covering everything from Italian to Mexican to Greek; as well as a twenty four hour buffet with every type of food option available.”

“I know he loves a steak from time to time, but in all honesty, he’s a fat little shit who loves nothing more than fast food and I knew he was telling porkie pies to begin with. The idea of him even attempting to go to the gym on holiday had us all in stitches from the moment he brought it up.”

Nathon Woodhead

Nathon Woodhead

Too old to go to raves, too young to retire from them. Where does that leave me? Writing for Wunderground.

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