A man from Bradford, West Yorkshire, was celebrating today after finding his mind at the bottom of his sock drawer three weeks after losing it during an LSD trip.
Michael Cotton made the unlikely discovery early this morning during a routine dressing at his home in Bradford’s Menston district.
“The last three weeks have been really tough for me, losing your mind is a terrible thing to happen to anybody but when you’re on acid it can be really terrifying,” explained Cotton earlier. “I can still remember the day I lost it so clearly. I was taking some really strong acid with some of my friend. Everything was going fine until Barry Manilow’s song Mandy came on the television. That was the tipping point for me, seeing his face, like a two hundred year old child or a melted Jim Henson puppet, really sent me on a bad trip.”
“The next thing I knew I was falling through a self-replicating chasm of Barry Manilow themed nightmares,” continued Cotton hesitantly. “You have no idea how scary it is to be stuck with his pointy little play dough elf face stuck in your head to a soundtrack of weird, warped, demonic versions of Copacabana and Unchained Melody. Just talking about it now is quite upsetting.”
“After three weeks I’d kind of learned to live with my condition, the doctors called it a Barry Mani-festation, but I’d totally given up all hope of ever finding my mind again,” admitted Cotton hesitantly. “Then today I was looking in my drawer for a pair of socks to put on my hands, that’s the kind of thing you do when you’ve lost your mind, and there it was just sitting there, all shiny and healthy, just like I’d never lost it.”
“It feels so great to finally have my mind back, simple things like reading a book, eating my breakfast and wanking are so much easier now,” he commented with a smile. “I’ll never take my mind for granted again, unless it was mushroom season or someone was to put Alice In Wonderland on while playing Dark Side Of The Moon. I’d probably take it for granted for that.”
