After Hours

Man Who Took 8 Half Pills In One Night Still “Wouldn’t Take A Full One”

Ecstasy Can't Do Full One

A man who took eight half pills on a recent night out has claimed that there’s still no way he’d take a full one.

Matt James, a twenty two year old from Swindon, England, believes only “pill heads take full Garries” and categorically denies that he is taking the same amount by taking them in halves.

“There’s no way I’d ever take a full pill,” insisted Mr. James during a chat with Wunderground. “You’re taking your life into your hands messing with that shit. Who knows what the fuck is going to happen to you if you start messing around like that?”

“I only take halves because I sell them to all my friends and I know you’re not supposed to get high on your own supply,” revealed Mr. James, who describes himself as a clean living student. “So for every ten I sell I break one in two and keep half, they get nine and a half and I get a half, I’ll just say there was a bit of dust in the bag and I’ll sort them out next time, nobody seems to care.”

“I see these pill heads out in the clubs all the time,” continued Mr. James, who only smokes when he drinks but drinks seven days a week. “I’m usually off my tits waffling the ears off them in the smoking area but they’re always just mangled, standing there with their jaws swinging hardly able to listen to the nonsense I’m unloading on them. I don’t want to be like that.”

“Last weekend I took eight half pills and I was relatively alright, I chewed a bit of a hole in the inside of my cheek but apart from that I was fine,” explained Mr. James. “Then there was my mate Tony who just took one full one, he was so off his nut that he cut his hand on some broken glass someone had left on the table. What a mess! He had to leave early on go and get stitches and everything. I’ll never be like that. Fucking pill heads.”

According to friend of Mr James, the small time drug dealer has also started to sell heroin but claims he’ll “never shoot that shit up like dirty skag heads” but also admits that a “little smoke of brown is dead nice when coming down off half pills”.

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