A man with a serious underbite has today revealed that he is constantly being confused for someone on pills.
Bernard Gallagher, a hand model from London’s Croydon area, claims that his underbite has been “holding him back for years” because everyone he meets thinks he’s on pills.
“My jaw line is such a hinderance on my life,” complained twenty seven year old Gallagher earlier. “It’s been holding me back my whole life, if I had of had a normal bite or even a bit of an overbite I probably could have been a real model but, instead, I’m just a hand model and I’m left walking around with a head like a fucking French Bulldog.”
“Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with hand modeling, rings, watches, gloves and various kitchen appliances aren’t going to sell themselves,” continued Gallagher, “but I can’t help but think about the opportunities I would have had, and more importantly the women I would have shagged, if it wasn’t for this damn underbite.”
“Everytime I leave my house someone will come up to me and say something like ‘easy Lionel’ or ‘isn’t it a bit early in the day for pingers?’ and I’m stuck trying to explain to them that I’m not on pills I’ve just got a mandibular prognathism or, in layman’s terms, an underbite,” explained Mr Gallagher, whose most notable hand modeling role to date was pointing at a cold sore. “The funny thing is, when I do take pills my jaw actually looks normal.”
“I’m hoping to save up enough money and have some reconstructive surgery done at some point in the future,” he revealed. “But my hands aren’t getting any younger and I’m finding it harder and harder to find work these days. Realistically, I might have to get into gay hand porn if I ever want to have that sort of money.”
According to statistics, one hundred percent of people who thought Mr Gallagher was on pills at the weekend were correct, after the hand model spent three days “necking Garys” in various London locations.