German DJ Markus Schulz is recovering in the University of Miami Hospital, after what surgeons described as a ‘very successful’ operation.
Schulz, 38 is the first person to have the controversial Vampirectomy operation, which actually turns patients into vampires.
Dr. B. Stoker, of the University of Miami Hospital told us a little bit about the operation, “Mr. Schulz approached us about having the surgery about a year ago after reading about it in a medical journal. He agreed to sign a disclaimer and we set the wheels in motion, it’s a very difficult procedure.”
“We had to completely drain all of his blood and infect it with vampire toxins, which we extract from Brazilian Vampire Bats, before putting it back into his body. We also had to carry out some retina work on Mr. Schulz’s eyes to make them hypersensitive to sunlight and completely rework his skin pigmentation so he will stay extremely pale and burst into flames if he goes out during the day,” explained Dr. Stoker.
“He’s now a fully functioning vampire, he just needs to have some dental work done before he can actually feed on human blood. We have a number of other DJs interested in the procedure, not surprising seen as they do the majority of their work at night, and after the success of Mr. Schulz’s operation I think we’ll be very busy over the coming months.” he continued.
We caught up with the DJ earleir this week, “I’ve wanted to be a vampire ever since I seen the Twilight movies but I didn’t want to be bitten on the neck, there’s so many infections you can catch nowadays! When I heard about Dr. Stoker and the work he is doing in Miami I decided I would sign up for the procedure. I’m really excited about the whole thing! I can’t wait to be able to knock on my friends window and be like ‘Woooohhhoooo I’m a vampire, I want to suck your blood.’ The only thing I’m not looking forward to is giving up garlic, I really love that stuff.”
