A married father of three, from Devon, England, has revealed that all he wants for Christmas this year is his “life back”.
Sam Foster, a thirty year old bricklayer, made the emotional admittance on Saturday during a “Christmas night out with work”.
Wunderground contacted Mr. Foster this morning to learn more about his Christmas wish, “Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife and my kids, they’re probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me, it’s definitely either them or the time I won five hundred quid on the lotto.”
“It’s just that when I see some of mates, who haven’t got married yet or had children, I can’t help but feel a little bit jealous,” explained Foster. “I went out for a pint with a couple of the lads a few weeks back and just as we were finishing up down the local the boys decided to get a couple of bags of coke and go clubbing. I would of loved to join in but I can’t afford those things, not when I’ve got two bikes and a shit ton of Peppa Pig merchandise to pay for.”
“I’d love to just be able to spend some of my money on me sometimes,” continued the remorseful father. “I had no idea kids were going to be so expensive. I’ll be lucky if I have enough money to buy myself a crate of Stella by the time all of the presents are paid for this Christmas and the worst thing is I don’t even get any credit for it, that wanker Father Christmas gets it all and he’s not even real.”
“If I could have anything I want for Christmas I’d probably ask for my old life back, just for a day, or maybe a couple weeks or a month,” admitted Mr. Foster. “My kids are great but so is having a social life and taking drugs and you don’t have to get up at four o’clock in the morning and clean drugs’ shitty arse, although, depending on how many of them you’ve taken you may have to get up and clean your own shitty arse.”
According to friends of Mr. Foster, the father of three has gone through a similar ordeal every Christmas for the last seven years and will soon rediscover the joys of parenthood on Christmas morning when he gets to drink all day while his children are distracted by “shitty Christmas TV” and new toys.
