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November 17, 2013
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Martin Garrix Refused Entry To His Own Gig In Dublin Nightclub

Dutch EDM sensation, Martin Garrix, was last night refused entry to a show that he was set to headline in Dublin’s, The Wright Venue, on the grounds of the nightclub having a strict over eighteens door policy.

Garrix, who was making fart noises with his hand and armpit this time last year, has shot to fame over the past twelve months after a string of equally successful and irritating hits, on labels such as Spinnin’ Records and DOORN Records. The unhappy DJ explained his ordeal, “I couldn’t believe the big  jerk wouldn’t let me in. Does he not know who I am? I’d chewed some gum in the taxi ride to the club so there’s no way he knew about the two bottles of WKD I had earlier on!”

Garrix(17), was refused entry to the club on four separate occasions by head doorman, Peter Wallace. The DJ, pictured above performing at a friend’s birthday party, continued, “After I had pleaded with him for ten minutes, trying to explain to him that I was the DJ and even offering to ring my mum so she could verify my story, I decided to try something different.”

“I walked around the corner, pushed my hair to the side and told my tour manager to give me his t-shirt, he wanted me to swap mine with him but I was like ‘No way that’s worth forty euro’. So I left him standing out in cold and went to try my luck at the door again,” he cunningly continued. “But the doorman wasn’t buying it at all, I presumed because he was so old – like in his thirties – that he’d be a bit of a dimwit, but he was surprisingly smart.”

Reports claim that, after trying to recruit a homeless guy for his coat under the option that if he had him sit on his shoulders and “look less homeless,” he’d be guaranteed entry, the young DJ was back at home in bed thankfully enjoying one of four wet dreams he has had in his life.

 

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