It has been revealed that The Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) is in talks with internet sensation, Techno Viking, regarding an opportunity to take up a role as a new villain in the next X-Men movie.
It is understood the billion dollar franchise is looking to develop a closer connection with the modern day viewer, claiming “drugs, techno and internet fame are what get kids pumped these days”.
“It’s no secret that the likes of Wolverine, Magneto and Storm have become fucking boring,” announced movie director, Bryan Singer. “The days of linking characters on screen to those from the comics are long gone. Nobody reads comics anymore; it’s all about memes, vloggers and internet celebrities. That’s where the Techno Viking fits in perfectly. He looks evil, he can throw sick shapes and he comes with an immense soundtrack. We think this will capture the imagination of a whole new audience.”
At this stage, Singer was reluctant to give too much more away regarding the plot of the new X-Men movie. However, Wunderground managed to speak to an anonymous source regarding a further addition to the cast.
“The Techno Viking will have such a brilliant mutant power. Every time he dances he projects excruciatingly loud techno whilst, at the same time, being protected by a force field of ketamine. Anybody who gets too close to him gets put in an instant K-hole but, to spice things up a bit, the script writers have offered an antidote to counteract his evil ways,” said the anonymous source.
“It is believed UK Vlogger Zoella will be included in the movie, possessing the power of unrequired boredom. It’s been suggested that her mutant power happens when she speaks, in which anybody listening will either want to commit suicide or be put to sleep in an instant. Obviously the writers feel keeping her movie role similar to her real life persona is important.”
This sets up a wonderful battle. Will the newest member of X-Men, Zoella, be able to bore the Techno Viking to death? Or will his thumping beats and ket-protection give him the edge in battle? Everybody at Wundergound cannot wait for this movie to be released.
