It has today been announced that MDMA is to headline every festival in the world this summer.
The popular rave drug, which has been headlining music festivals of all shapes and sizes the world over for the last 25 years, will once again pip the music, other drugs and sex to be the main attraction at music festivals.
It is not known yet whether MDMA will appear in its crystalline powder form or if it will be predominantly featured as pills but experts believe that both manifestations of the legendary drug will make a headline appearance on the summer festival calender.
“MDMA for me, is definitely the one thing I get really excited about for festival season,” gushed one excited MDMA fan Graham Byrne. “So I’m delighted that it is, as expected, going to headline all the festivals that I’m planning on attending this year, and even some club nights, private parties, BBQ’s and Monday mornings too.”
“It’s such a versatile performer it can make an appearance at any event and blow your mind,” he added.
27 year old student and longtime MDMA fan Jackie Stevens echoed Graham’s sentiments telling Wunderground that she was really looking forward to experiencing ecstasy live.
“I’m so excited, I’ve seen MDMA live before and they’re always really, really good.”
At this point it’s not clear what stage or times MDMA will be appearing at but it is expected that the extremely popular drug could make an appearance at any time at any festival where there’s music and people under 40.
“We’re delighted to announce once again that MDMA will headline Glastonbury,” read a statement from Glasto founder Michael Eavis. “This is the 25th year running that MDMA has been back to the farm and as always we welcome it back with open arms and mouths.”
“MDMA will play the dance areas of the festival,” continued Mr. Eavis, “but is also hotly tipped to make appearances at every other stage of the festival throughout the course of the week.”
Keeping a busy summer touring schedule it has also emerged that MDMA is expected to feature heavily in Ibiza this summer making appearances “basically every night”.
Alongside MDMA’s entirely expected presence on the clubbing calender is appearances by some other legendary festival stalwarts such as LSD, cocaine and, the new kid on the block, ketamine.
“MDMA is going to be literally everywhere this summer,” concluded Jackie. “I know for a fact it’s headlining Hideout, Dimensions, Life Festival, Sonar and every other festival happening anywhere that you can think of.”
