In shocking news from the medical sector, it has been revealed that medicinal marijuana works on approximately one hundred percent of people who aren’t sick.
The shocking statistic was revealed in an article in this month’s edition of the popular “stoner” magazine High Times and highlights the positive effects of medicinal marijuana on the non-sick community.
Gary Talbot, a healthy thirty year old estate agent from Vancouver, Canada, spoke to Wunderground about his experiences with medicinal marijuana, “Well sir, in my thirty years on this great planet I’ve never had an illness any worse that a sore throat or a common cold and I’ve been using medicinal marijuana for the last five years and it’s worked on me every time.”
“I mean, I’m more than familiar with the canada marijuana laws and to be honest, I don’t follow them. I just focus on me, and do my own research into how good this stuff really is.”
“I’ve been studying the effects medicinal marijuana supposedly has on sick people and I can categorically confirm that I’ve been experiencing the same thing despite being in good health,” explained Gary before pausing to take a precautionary hit off a pipe. “Things like reduced levels of anxiety, a feeling of contemptness and occasional light headedness, I get them all.”
“All the while I’ve been buying my prescriptions from a doctor in the Valley, he knows I’m not sick but he’s pretty cool so he sorts me out,” continued Gary who was busy rolling a joint. “Anyone who says medicinal marijuana is just for sick people if full of shit man, it works just as well on healthy people and if you ask me it’s making me even healthier.”
“I think everyone should smoke medicinal marijuana,” claimed Gary, who takes up to ten doses of marijuana a day. “Except fat people, they should be made take medicinal molly until they lose the extra weight and then they can have some medicinal weed.”
According to experts approximately fifty percent of medicinal marijuana users in the state of California are “full of shit” while the other fifty percent aren’t sick.