A meth kitchen in Baltimore, Maryland, has become the first of it’s kind to be awarded with the coveted Michelin Star award.
Head chef Big G, real name Greg Thompson, is believed to be delighted with the news and now feels that his operation is finally getting the respect that it deserves.
Wunderground spoke to Mr. Thompson about the award earlier today, “Everybody ‘in B-more knows that Big G cooks the best shit, now it’s official, it’s about time homies around here stood up and recognized me as the fine chef that I am.”
“We’re gonna have people coming from all over the state and country to sample my product, I think I might need to move to a bigger kitchen,” revealed Big G, who claims his best selling dish is a $20 bag of the finest meth this side of the Mississippi River. “Breaking Bad don’t have a patch on me. There aint no crackers out there who actually know how to cook meth, that shit’s just in fairy tales.”
Big G went on to highlight his ambition by indicating that he will not rest on his laurels after receiving the prestigious award.
“I see some of them kitchens in France that have two, three or even four stars, that’s exactly what I want for my place,” continued the chef, who studied classical meth cooking in the School of Hard Knocks and the University of Life. “I want to have more stars outside my door than a Jewish grotto in Nazi occupied Germany or a Romanian orphanage doing two for the price of one babies.”
“At the moment we’re only serving meth but now that we’ve got the star I may branch out into other areas,” claimed the former corner boy. “I’ve been dabbling with a bit of crack cooking and I do a mean deconstructed hit of heroin so there’s a lot of scope on the menu for expansion. It’s an exciting time for my kitchen.”
According to critics, the produce offered by Big G’s kitchen is so good that once you’ve tried it you’ll keep coming back every day for more.
