Irish-American tap dancing guru, Michael Flatley, has today announced a new modern reimagining on his famous Riverdance shows which will see the entire routine given a tech-house makeover to be performed by shufflers.
The dancer has reportedly been looking for a way to spin money out of basically dancing about for two hours and is reportedly overjoyed to have stumbled across shuffling when attending a rave in Germany.
“I like to neck the odd pill and tap the fuck out of some floors while techno plays,” explained Flatley. “So I’m in the club, toeing the place silly as I tap along to the music, a crowd naturally starts to gather around me. I’ve got my hands to my side immobile and my face tilted to the lasers, not a blip of expression on me, just looking all fucking in-control and poised.
“Next thing some lad in a pair of skinnys and a snap back bursts through the ring of people and starts shuffling his legs just as fast, if not faster than I’m tapping, we then get caught in a kind of symbiotic hypnosis, his shuffling complimenting my tapping and vice versa, in the end we fell into each other’s arms, laughing and exhausted but safe in the knowledge that I had just transformed the dancing world again.”
“I’m look for any shufflers who are interested in showing off their dance moves while dressing in silly costumes to apply through my website,” continued Flatley. “We’ll be holding open auditions and the best shufflers, i.e. the ones
“Everybody knows that the hottest dancers on the planet now are shufflers, they’re like an urban version of Irish dancers with silly costumes and bad hair,” he added.
“The music for the show will be produced entirely by Irish emotive house producer Mano Le Tough,” continued Flatley, while perming his hair naked in full length mirror and putting on a faux Irish accent despite being American. “It’ll essentially be traditional Irish music incorporating flutes and fiddles with some techy beats and flares behind it.”
“It’s going to be sick, that’s the word the kids are using right?” he concluded. “Also, as you know I’ve the world record for taps per minute which is something I’m hoping I can break, Irish music doesn’t have as fast a BPM as the ole tech-house. I’m hoping I’ll get up to about 1000 taps per minute at the show, with the help of some good speed most likely.”
