Following on from her display of fancy footwork on popular US talk show Ellen, house music lover Michelle Obama is set to sing on Disclosure’s new record.
Claiming she’s always been into “proper deep groovers” and loves nothing more than a housey number with an uplifting vocal, Ms. Obama purposely sought out Disclosure to work with the English duo.
“Even thought they’re white and British they’re still making some slick tunes,” confirmed Ms. Obama. “I like how they use sassy vocalists and figured, even though I can’t sing and am only famous inadvertently because of politics, that I’d probably be able to get away with singing on one of their tracks.”
“And I mean proper singing, not just talking and altering the vocal like every nu-disco track,” she added.
“They weren’t that into it at first but once I threatened them with some drone strikes they came around,” she added. “I didn’t even have to reveal any of their spied upon personal information like how they’re actually Jedward.”
“Everybody has seen my husband sing on the internet,” she added, “but I’m actually a way better singer, all my secret service detail agree.”
Disclosure are reportedly delighted to have the first lady on the record, claiming that it’ll hopefully increase their crossover appeal.
“With 90s house revivals you need two things, slick beats and sassy black vocalists, and that’s what you get with Michelle Obama,” confirmed a spokesperson for the duo. “She has crossover appeal, that’s what’s important in music now!”
In other news, Vladamir Putin is reportedly devastated that he wasn’t asked to produce the album.
“I’ve been practising on a cracked copy of Reason for a few months now, recording under the name Vlad the Impaler – Hot Creations are very interested,” he said from the back of horse while bench pressing geopolitical relations. “This is real, existing deep house.”
