‘Miley Cyrus Gave Me An STI’ Claims Devastated Out Of Work Actor
More controversy surrounds former Hanna Montanna star, Miley Cyrus, today after a Ukrainian actor claimed he caught an STI off the singer while performing in her, Wrecking Ball, music video.
Bigan Roundedov, moved to America in 1986 after a heavy dose of radiation unfortunately turned him into a wrecking ball during the Chernobyl disaster. He spoke to Wunderground earlier this week, “I came to America after the whole Chernobyl thing. I’m from a long line of builders and architects. Once I transformed into a wrecking ball they wanted nothing more to do with me.”
“I didn’t think I’d be able to find work in the Ukraine as a wrecking ball so I decided to follow my dreams and move to Hollywood to become an actor, I knew I’d have a clear advantage over other actors when it came to parts for wrecking balls.”
“The eighties and early nineties were brilliant man, I was getting roles everywhere, Superman, Mad Max, Batteries Not Included, if it had a wrecking ball in it I was in it,” he claimed. “I thought the work would never dry up so naturally I was partying hard, sleeping with hookers and doing lots of coke, I never once paused to think about my future,” he added.
“Then along came CGI and all of a sudden there was no work for a wrecking ball in Hollywood anymore. The last decent part I had was when I played a cannon ball seen off in the distance in, The Patriot,” he recounted. “I have two kids in college so when the part came along for a video called, Wrecking Ball, I jumped at the chance. I presumed I would be the main attraction, not some skinny, naked, teeny bopper,” claimed the disgruntled implement of destruction.
“The bitch didn’t even wipe me down when she was finished shooting. It felt like I’d had a giant slug crawling all over the top of my ball or like someone had been smearing wall paper paste all over me and the smell – Jesus Christ – I don’t even have a nose but I could still smell her twat. It was like somebody had eaten rotten mackerel, digested it and then shat it directly on top of me, even thinking about it still makes me feel nauseous,” he said showing absolutely no physical sign of emotion.
“And to top it all off she left me with a nice little dose of herpes right at the base of my chain, my wife wont touch me and I’ll probably never get another acting job ever again. It’s safe to say that Miley Cyrus’s diseased cunt has swung a wrecking ball through my life. I hate her more than I hate old cars ready for scrap or, my natural enemy – disused, derelict buildings,” he admitted.
Although, Miley Cyrus, has not commented on Mr. Roundedov’s claims, it is rumoured that she contracted the sexually transmitted infection during a one night stand with a sledge hammer earlier in the shoot.