Millions of pairs of festival sunglasses around the world are this week preparing to go into hibernation for the winter months as the festival season draws to a close.
Although there are still a number sporadic festivals scheduled into September, a frantic summer season for the majority of festival sunglasses comes to an end with the arrival of September resulting in widespread hibernation among the festival sunglasses community.
Ping-Pong O’Toole, the pair of festival sunglasses pictured above, reflected upon a “great summer” with Wungerground earlier, “It’s been a really top notch summer this year and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m looking forward to a good rest now.”
“I’ll be nice and cozy in my owner’s man drawer over the winter,” continued Ping-Pong. “My owner, Meat-Face, has it nicely fitted out with old phone chargers and a variety of other useless cables, broken cameras, empty batteries, old bank statements and a few allen key sets so it’s vert homely and I’ll be comfortable.”
“I’ve had a great summer, it’s been so exciting going to all the gigs, festivals and days out at the beach,” revealed Ping-Pong. “People always ask me if I’d like to be a pair of all year round sunglasses but honestly I wouldn’t swap being a pair of festival sunglasses for anything. Plus there’s the fact that I’m pink and I’ve got two big guns above my lenses and I probably wouldn’t make much of a pair of driving sunglasses or ski-goggles,” he continued jokingly.
“Us festival sunglasses experience way more excitement than any other type of glasses. This summer I’ve done so much more than keep the sun out of Meat-Face’s eyes,” continued the talking pair of pink novelty sunglasses proudly. “He’s used me to hide his eyes when he was checking out girls’ tits, he used my legs for transporting drugs from small bags to his nose and depending on the drugs he’s even used me as a viewing portal into another dimension.”
“You tell me one other pair of glasses who gets to have fun like that every year?” he asked defiantly. “But all good things must come to an end and now it’s time for me to settle down for winter, charge my batteries and get ready to do it all again next summer.”
Festival sunglasses are not the only summer items set to go into hibernation, with a host of festival hats, novelty T-shirts and a range of “weird looking hippy shit that most people would never be seen wearing if it wasn’t for festivals” set to follow suit over the coming weeks.
