New research released today has indicated that the world’s most popular sexual position is “missionary” as it is the one that is most favoured by couples who “are tired and just want to get it over with”.
The Kinsey Institute for Sexual Research published findings following a series of interviews and surveys with thousands of couples from across the globe and found that missionary was the preferred position of “the tired and overworked couples” while the unemployed or privately wealthy participants liked to vary their positions.
One couple who were interviewed for the study, Mary and John McCabe, from Dublin in Ireland said that they often preferred to “do missionary on weeknights” so they could free up time to “watch telly” and saved the more adventurous positions like “her on top or him from behind” for the weekend when they “were a bit drunker and there was nothing good on the telly”.
“It’s defo the best when you’re just sort of meh,” confided Mary. “You know when you’re having sex not cause you really, really want to have sex, but cause it’s a been a few days and you think you should probably have sex.”
“You know, to keep the quota up,” she added.
“For those situations missionary is best because you can just get it over with quickly and get back to watching a box-set or Tweeting observations about whatever,” she added.
“I agree,” continued Mary’s partner John, “sometimes I’ll be tired after work, or there’ll be football on, and I’ll just want to get through it quickly. I’ll just sort of bury my head into her shoulder and imagine it’s with someone else, like one of her friends or an ex, and orgasm as quickly as I can so I can get back to whatever I was doing on Facebook or finish my tea.”
Mary concluded by saying that she thought “most couples probably do the same thing” when they’re tired and that “Wednesday evenings at 8pm is the time for Coronation Street or drinking mid-week pints”, not for hours of fulfilling and satisfying sex.
