Paramedics were called to a quiet street in Suffolk last week when a local DJ suffered a severe finger injury during a Facebook rant.
The thirty six year old Lowestoft resident, Damian Jones, is said to have “frightened” neighbours after frantically banging on their door at around ten p.m. while claiming to have broken his index finger during an online argument over the difference between techno and tech-house.
“He was hammering on our door screaming for us to call an ambulance and muttering something about tech-house wankers under his breath,” said seventy three year old Audrey Jackson. “He looked fine but was hysterically crying. He said his finger was in agony and when I asked him why he couldn’t call an ambulance for himself he responded by saying his typing finger is the same for his iPad as it is for his phone and it was completely out of action so somebody needed to do it for him.”
Wunderground caught up with Damian on his way out of A&E to find out if everything was OK, “No it’s bloody not,” said the frustrated DJ. “I was trying to educate some morons about what makes a decent techno track and how house music is totally different to techno. I was growing more frustrated with their stupidity so I typed harder and harder in an attempt to make my point clearer, then I bruised my index finger so severely it felt like it was broken.”
“My mum wasn’t home to help me out so I ended up running around to my neighbour’s house. She wasn’t really much use either, she just stared blankly at me. I don’t think she’d ever seen a music injury before, bless her.”
“I’m so annoyed because the damaged finger is the one I use for everything,” continued Damian. “It’s the one I press play with, so I can’t do any sets in my bedroom for a while. It’s the one I switch the TV over with so no more Game of Thrones for me for a bit. It’s also the one which holds my fork when I eat my dinner, so I think I’m going to have to get my mum to feed me for the time being. I’m going to struggle with this for weeks.”
