A new poll conducted by Babynames.com has shown that the most popular baby name for girls among women aged between 16 and 24 is Molly. Commentators believe that there is a direct correlation between the resurgent popularity of the name and the recent explosion of dance music and drug culture in the United States.
Baby name expert and nappy changing enthusiast, Dorothy Williams, believes that there is reasonable evidence to suggest that EDM is responsible for repopularising the name. “If you look through the data it clearly shows that the last time that the name Molly was the most popular name for newborn girls was back in 1991, around the same time as the acid house explosion was collapsing. I know Molly wasn’t a popular street name for MDMA at that time but it can’t be just a coincidence, can it?”
New mother Tiffany Blake named her daughter Molly, pictured above at her very first rave, and was unapologetic in justifying naming her daughter after the drug. “First off, let me get this straight, Molly changed my life. My sense of self purpose and capacity to love myself and other people has changed because of how much I love Molly. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for Molly. So why wouldn’t I name my daughter it?” pondered Tiffany.
“I really have a problem with it,” claimed Tiffany’s boyfriend Jake. “Naming your baby after a drug is just the most inane and childish thing you can do. I mean, I absolutely love wanking. It has genuinely changed my life and I thank God everyday that I can take my dick out and wank,” explained Jake. “But I’m not going to call my child ‘wanking’. I wouldn’t even call a dog ‘wanking’. I don’t even like calling wanking ‘wanking’.”
“I don’t see how it’s any different than naming your kid after another drug. ‘Hi, this is my son, heroin’ or ‘Heroin, time to go to bed, stop drooling on yourself,'” Jake continued. “If you’re going to name your kid after a passing fad like a drug, or a Hollywood movie star then you’re probably not mentally advanced enough to have unfortunately named kids.”
