An urgently needed helpline has today been set up for dangerously distraught DJ’s to vent their feelings about poor quality food, delayed flights and crap hotel service.
“We really felt that DJ’s, as an overlooked and often marginalised subsection of society, needed a place to vent their feelings and have their opinions heard,” declared the head of the new charity and the man behind the helpline, David ‘Echo’ Chambers. “They’re so used to speaking through the voice of someone else through the records they spin that sometimes they forget to use their own.”
“Our team of highly trained staff will talk the distressed DJ through anything that might be bothering him,” explained David, “such as the food on the plane, the battery power on his/her phone or the early check out time in the five star hotel.”
“DJ’s need support,” he continued. “Some of them survive on as little as €10k per show. That’s a mere €2.5k per hour or €41.66 a minute. Could you survive on such a meagre income without feeling stressed out and suicidal?”
“Often DJ’s have to work in appalling conditions,” he explained. “Sometimes having to use a DJM600 instead of the almost identical DJM800. It’s literally sickening what they have to go through.”
The helpline entitled, Check Your Levels, has been online only a week, but David says that the response has been enormous for the charity who are operating under the tagline, “We can help you get over anything, including yourself”.
“Just last week we talked a frustrated Steve Angello down from throwing a full on tantrum in a regional Spanish airport after he complained that the runway tarmac was too hot for him to wear his flip flops,” recounted David. “These might seem like prima-donna, meaningless little complaints for the life of a normal person but DJ’s are not like you or I, they’re special and need to be treated as such.”
If you or any DJ’s you know are feeling the strain then you are advised to phone the international helpline at any time day or night, or during a set, on the number (international code) 555-0134 and the team at Check Your Levels will be there to help you get through your minor, unimportant-in-the-scheme-of-things predicament.
